I'm so tired of this life.

I just wish somebody would love me.  The real me, illnesses and all, faults and all, I just wish someone would see that I'm worth truly loving.  But after 46 years it's just a dream that will never come true.

Goodbye, sweet kitty

I miss my cat. I keep remembering how slept at the top of the stairs and followed us down every morning, and how he loved having his belly rubbed by a foot (yes, a foot, silly kitty) and how he would look up at me and meow when he wanted some attention. Then I'll think that maybe he wasn't the cat we found, and that he's alive and will come home and wait at the door to be let in. But whenever I look outside, he's never there. RIP Shadow, I'm so sorry that I couldn't protect you, I'll never forget you and I'll miss you forever. : (

I love this song...the movie too

Lyrics | Fuel - Won’t Back Down lyrics

Wow, it's been awhile!

No, I haven't forgotten that I have a blog, lol. I've just been so distracted by Facebook apps that I haven't really been doing much else, on the computer or off, I'm ashamed to say. Now I'm bored with Facebook (for now), but not bored enough that I want to actually do what a wife and mother should be doing (taking care of myself, cleaning house), so I decided to give some attention to this poor neglected blog.

In my last post, I was talking about Matthew starting kindergarten. Well, I survived that first day, lol, and so did he. He likes school, and has many friends. He's known as the school cutie, lol. But unfortunately, he is struggling with learning, writing, and following directions. This is one reason that I wanted him to be in preschool instead of kindergarten this year, I just don't think he's emotionally ready for kindergarten. He's trying, the little trooper, but it's still likely that he'll have to repeat K again next year. Nissa, though, has made a complete turn-around from a couple of years ago and is doing amazing. She's at the top of her class in almost everything and is well-liked too. Kaylee is doing ok, though not as well as last year, and Adam is still working. As for me....

I have my good days and my bad days, as usual. Was really bad a couple of weeks ago, but don't really feel like getting into that right now. I'm thinking that my migraines and depression sort of go together, when one is bad, so is the other.

Well, Tom is home so I should go, he doesn't really like me to be on the computer when he's home (and awake). I'll try (lol!) to post more often!

My baby is starting school!

I can't believe the day is almost here, my baby, my youngest of four children, is starting kindergarten this year. He still seems so little to me, so young and vulnerable, and certainly not ready to be away from me five days a week, eight hours a day. He has to ride city transportation all by his little self, follow directions, interact with other children--how will my baby manage this? I was never this nervous with my three older children, they were all obviously ready to make their escape from my protective arms. But Matthew, he's more like me, more afraid of change and new things, more fragile. On Tuesday, Sept. 8, I'm going to be a wreck all day, waiting by the phone in case he needs me. Part of me is really looking forward to this new phase for us, for me--I haven't had my days free since I became a mother--19 years ago. But another part of me just wants to grab my little boy and hold him close, never letting him go. For him, it's his very first day of school; for me, it's the LAST very first day of school. But for both of us, it's a day that will change our lives, our relationship, forever.

Wasted Life

I've come to the conclusion that I've pretty much failed at everything in my life. I remember growing up, people always used to tell me that I should do this or that when I grew up--something with my art, music, or the most popular ones- math and writing. I was always told how much potential I had. But potential meant nothing by my junior year of high school, when I decided that all I really wanted to do with my life was be a wife and mother. Simple, right? I figured that, considering I inherited my genes from my mother and father, I'd be a natural. Wrong. And the ironic thing is, not only have I failed miserable at all things homemaker, but I've pissed away all that potential in the other areas of life. I haven't drawn or painted since high school art class, haven't sung since my senior musical, I use a calculator for everything, and the only thing I've managed to write is this blog (and we can all see how successful that's been). None of that would matter though, if I had just succeeded at what I did chose to do. One look inside my life though, and it's obvious what a dismal failure I've been there too.

Bucket List

I'll prolly never be able to do most of these, but here's my Bucket List (to be added to, updated, changed as the need arises):

Go to the ballet
See Cirque de Soleil
Go on a cruise
Skydive
Visit Paris
Get Healthy
Visit New York City

I guess it's about time to post something!

Ok, well, I started this blog awhile back, I really dunno why, as I'm not much of a writer, lol. Anyways, I started it on a whim and then never did anything with it--typical of me, as I have no trouble starting things but major trouble finishing them. I didn't used to be like this, but that's a whole other story.

So, I guess it's about time that I actually "blog" something, so here goes:

My name is Sherie, I just turned 40, I've been married for 19 years, and I have four kids. I live in Michigan, in the same town I grew up in, but we're moving in a couple of months--to a town about 20 minutes north. I really hate living in Michigan--the economy sucks (worse than everywhere else--we're 50th in the country), and I hate the endless months of snow and cold. My husband mentioned moving to South Carolina a couple of years ago, got my hopes all up, but like everything else he never followed through. He LIKES the snow, go figure. So, at least for the time being, I'm stuck here.

Ok, enough for now, I'm also talking to a friend on IM and I'm losing my train of thought, lol. I'll try to remember to ramble on here later sometime, maybe, lol.